


A Big Love

by thatpolystory



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Courtship, F/M, Marriage, Multi, Polygamy, Pregnancy, Religious Content, Unconventional Families, Unconventional Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1859439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatpolystory/pseuds/thatpolystory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When circumstances lead Emily back to America, an unexpected love grows in her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WIP, posted to ff, will try to import it all here.

It begins with a mistake. Too much alcohol, too much stress, too much being alone since Emily left the BAU. It's the kind of mistake that Emily thinks she can put behind, let go so long as Gabriel stops giving her too-intimate glances at work, as though somehow their relationship has changed because of a brief lapse in judgment on both of their parts.

 

Except life, at least hers, is rarely that simple. The seed of doubt is planted in her mind when the aversion to intense smells begins, when Emily finds herself no longer able to tolerate her morning coffee. The doubt increases when she finds herself suffering from a stomach bug that just wont let up, nausea with no apparent fever. The final blow comes when she tries to think, weeks after the symptoms begin, of when her last period was.

 

Emily tries to reason with herself when she buys a handful of pregnancy tests on the way home from work that evening, stashing them into her purse like the evidence of a crime. At thirty eight and living a high-stress lifestyle, this wouldn't be the first time her periods were somewhat irregular. But the doubt lingers, tells her that there's more to the story, that she must take the test.

 

She does. The directions say it's best to wait until first thing in the morning, but it's been hours since she's last gone to the bathroom, and she can't possibly wait any longer. Weaker concentration of hCG or not, the fates promptly reveal some of their cards for her, two clear lines. Pregnant.

 

Emily thinks of the child that could have been hers, so long ago. She'd have been sixteen when he or she would have been born. They'd be all grown up now, off on their own, living some life she cannot imagine. She'd be living some life she cannot imagine. Emily thinks that it's cruel she find herself in this position now, when she'd stopped believing that it could ever happen, when she'd given up a tiny corner of her mind that had always wanted.

 

She doesn't regret the choice she made, twenty two years ago. All of the good things that had come in her life would likely have never come to be in her life had she made a different choice. She had been so young then, so stupid.

 

Yet she finds herself staring at the same results all these years later, and the doubt in her mind grows. When she'd told Gabriel about the symptoms, about the pregnancy tests, he'd pulled her into a quiet corner of the hallway and told her that in no uncertain terms that he was never going to be a father, that he wanted nothing to do with any baby. If she was pregnant it was best for them both if she got rid of it.

 

She tells herself not to think of that, to continue to function, at least until she can see her doctor and find out for certain.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, the doctor's appointment rolls around. It's the first time she's been to the doctor that wasn't either for a trauma or for a work-required evaluation in years. Emily wonders if that will count against her on the long list of reasons why she should not have a baby, if she's even pregnant.

 

The ultrasound quickly puts any theories that she's not pregnant to rest. Dr. Deniel smiles broadly at her, gesturing at the screen. He confirms that she looks about as far along as they'd expected based on her last period, eight weeks three days, and that everything looks perfectly fine right now. On the screen, the tiniest of heartbeats flickers along, healthy and strong.

 

He leaves her to clean up and get dressed, printing out a picture of the ultrasound for her to keep, a tiny little bean that doesn't look anything like a baby yet on it. Emily thinks she's going to cry as she stares at it.

 

A minute later he's there again with his great big sympathetic eyes. She thinks she's too old for people to be treating the news of her pregnancy with sympathy, but she supposes he's only doing so because he can clearly see this is conflicting news for her. He sits down on a stool, patting a chair near his desk. “You did not expect this?”

 

Emily laughs nervously as she sits down. “No. I didn't even think I could get pregnant any longer.”

 

He nods. “Well, pregnancy at your age is a little bit riskier than a younger woman. But you are healthy and the fact that you've made it this far in the pregnancy is a positive sign. I see no reason yet to tell you that you should expect anything but a healthy pregnancy, although we will watch you more closely,” he answers, speaking to her unasked questions. “you should expect that if you want this, you will have a baby.”

 

Emily shrugs. “I don't know. I'd given up on the idea of having a child.”

 

“And the father?” he asks, glancing at her chart briefly. “Is he in the picture?”

 

She shakes her head. “He's made it quite clear that he's uninterested in any child that results from this pregnancy, and I wont be trying to change his mind.”

 

“And you? What do you want?” he asks.

 

Emily sighs, a desperate little sound. “I've felt this . . . hope, ever since you showed me that little heart beat. This could be my child, if I want it. This isn't how I wanted it to happen, but I don't, I can't . . . I wont go through life wondering what could have been again.”

 

“Well, your options are open for another five weeks. But I think you've already made your decision, Emily, and so we should start moving in the direction of planning care for your pregnancy if my assumptions are correct.”

 

Emily nods. “I'm not so sure I'll be staying here much longer. Can I call to schedule a follow-up if I do?”

 

Dr. Deniel stands then, sorting through a cabinet for a sample bottle of prenatal vitamins, as well as a handful of pamphlets about a healthy pregnancy and when to contact your doctor. “Of course. Start the vitamins today no matter what, and call our office at any time if you have concerns.”

 

After thanking the doctor, Emily leaves, feeling like a weight has been lifted off her chest. She might not know where she's going to have this baby, or how she can possibly care for it on her own, but she does know that one day not so far into the future it will be born. Thinking that it's no longer just her pregnancy, but her baby, puts all the other decisions into a different perspective.

 


	3. Chapter 3

****

Emily hadn't told JJ about the mistake, the seeds of doubt, the pregnancy test, or the doctor's appointment. It had seemed too uncertain then. Now she faces their twice-weekly skype chats with nervous butterflies in her stomach. She knows that JJ will be happy for her and support her, but Emily thinks that part of her is still the 15 year old girl with a secret.

 

JJ is her usual enthusiastic self as she briefly fills Emily in on the BAU and Will and Henry, before asking Emily what she's been up to. Emily takes a breath, balls her hands into fists. “There's something I have to tell you. I was avoiding telling you because I wasn't entirely sure yet. I'm pregnant.”

 

JJ looks caught between extreme excitement and cautious concern. “How do you feel about that? Tell me everything!”

 

Emily tries to assemble the story in order. “I had a one night stand with a co-worker. He wants nothing to do with the baby and I'm okay with that. I wont hold this over his head. I'm eight weeks, four days along now so I still have time for an abortion if that's what I wanted to do. But Jayje, seeing that little heartbeat,” Emily says, her face almost in a grimace. “It broke something in me. I couldn't be a mother then, but I can now. This is probably my last chance. I want it.”

 

“No matter the circumstances, you know that we're here for you, Emily,” JJ replies. “I'm happy for you. You're going to be a mother! I get to spoil another baby!”

 

“Yeah. A baby,” Emily says with a smile, glad to finally have it out there. “I don't know what to do, JJ. I don't think I want to raise a baby out here on my own. My heart is telling me to leave, but is that just my homesickness talking?”

 

JJ shakes her head. “There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone, Em. If you want to come back you know that you'll always have a place with us.”

 

Emily nods. “I appreciate that. I have some thinking I need to do.”

 

JJ smiles. “You'll make the right decision. Take care of yourself, Em,” she says. “I'll talk to you in a few days.”

 

After they hang up, Emily sets about her thinking. In the end it comes down to one thing; alone with no support system is no way to raise a child. Emily thinks that she misses them now, more desperately than she's missed anyone or anything in her life, Declan excluded.

 

She thinks of the pain in her chest where her memories of Declan reside, the knowledge that she will never see him again comfortably weighed against the reality that her knowledge can never again be used against her. He was simply never meant to be hers, and the knowledge that he is happy and healthy without her allows her to embrace this reality, to let him go.

 

This child feels different. This child feels like hers, as though she can truly envision a life together, and it isn't just an empty fantasy. She can make it happen.

 

She just has to figure out how.

 


	4. Chapter 4

In the end there's really no debate. That Monday she lets her boss know she'll be leaving soon, breaks the news of the move to an excited JJ with Will and Henry in the background. Eventually she starts to work through packing up the parts of her apartment she wont just sell, buying herself out of the lease, and breaking the news to everyone else. 

They all seem so happy for her, like she'd done nothing wrong, that she starts to believe it herself. The sex and the choice of partner might have been a mistake, but her baby wont be. 

The day she leaves work, she hands Gabriel a card with her contact information if he ever decides to change his mind on getting involved, knowing that he wont. “Even if you just want pictures or updates. You don't have to be a stranger unless you want to,” she assures him. It's quite clear that he does. 

She sets up a three-month lease on a new place before she flies back to the US, not yet sure about renting for longer or finally buying a home. She has a sizable savings, but the prospect of buying a home at DC prices still seems like a distant, daunting dream. The short-term lease will give her space to breathe and figure out her options. 

The day before she leaves, she finally thinks to call her mother and let her know. There's a minute, right at the beginning, where she's not entirely sure how her mother is going to react to all of this, her daughter's second unwed and unpartnered pregnancy. It passes with her quickly congratulating Emily on the news, telling her that they should meet soon. She tells Emily that she's happy, and Emily believes her. 

Leaving is almost too easy. Before, she loved to travel, hated feeling settled down to one place. Even though DC holds painful memories, Emily finds herself growing more and more excited each day that approaches towards the move. 

Across the pond, JJ sets Emily up an appointment with her old OB, spends the weekend with Will and Henry buying Emily some basic furniture by sending her pictures on her phone of things she thinks Emily might like and receiving Emily's approval or disapproval. It isn't everything, but it's enough that Emily will be able to move straight into her apartment. JJ and Will spend a lot of time chatting about Emily. JJ is excited, and Will has to admit that the enthusiasm starts to rub off on him as they get into the habit of skyping with her together some nights, awaiting her return. 

The next weekend, Emily flies home. It isn't difficult to leave at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Emily insists that nobody comes to pick her up, because it's out of the way, and there's no use when they can just meet at her new place to grab the keys from JJ.

 

JJ, to her credit, tries to keep the excited squealing to a minimum as she hugs Emily and hands her the envelope with the keys in it. “You're back for good, aren't you?”

 

Emily smiles as she squeezes the woman who she's pretty certain is her best friend. “I don't know about forever, Jayje. Definitely a long time.”

 

They agree to meet for dinner in a few hours after Emily's had some time to settle in and have a nap. Emily catches JJ staring longingly at her still-flat abdomen just before she leaves. “It isn't too late, you know.” Emily tells her, the ghost of a joke in her voice.

 

Later that evening, Garcia, Reid, Morgan, Rossi, Hotch, JJ, Will, and Emily crowd around a table at “their” favorite Chinese restaurant. Garcia excitedly quizzes her on everything about the baby, not that Emily knows much yet. Reid recites helpful pregnancy facts and statistics. Everyone congratulates her, tells her how happy she looks, how happy they are to have her back.

 

It isn't the same, but the unease that had lead Emily to leave months ago is gone, replaced with the knowledge that running away from the familiar wont make her life any better. These are the people she loves, and who love her back, and that takes work.

 

JJ and Will walk her back to her rental car after dinner that evening, laughing and joking the four blocks to where she'd found parking. In a moment of earnestly with no strangers to witness their moment, Will stops Emily to tell her what he'd wanted to say in the restaurant. “We're _all_ happy to have you back. Whatever you need, JJ and I will be there for you.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

The next week is hectic. JJ is called out of town on a case by Monday, and Emily is swamped with things to do. She starts putting around calls about getting a new job, making it no secret that she's expecting and looking for a job that's going to offer good leave options. She doesn't bother reapplying for the BAU, because she doesn't need another high-stress job, and doesn't think that a job that would require travel would be a viable option. 

She's willing to wait for the right option. So she's surprised when it arrives that Thursday in the form of an interview at a private consulting firm. It isn't the sort of job she'd ever expected for herself, and certainly not at her age. When the topic of maternity leave comes up, one of her interviewers gives a small shrug and tells her that she can take her 12 weeks leave and add on a work-from-home option up to the first six months, longer if it ends up working out." Emily realizes then that the job interview was less of an interview and more of a formality in offering her the job. 

“Why me?” she asks, puzzled.

“Your experience, intellect, language, and cultural skills will serve us well here. I know this isn't the kind of job you're used to, but we feel that you could be a great asset to our team.” 

Emily isn't going to say no, and somehow walks out of her first job interview since coming back to America, with a job.

Later that day, she meets with her new OB. Checking in at reception reminds her of a uniquely American problem she now suffers from- being uninsured for the next three months until her employee insurance kicks in. Barring any complications, three months of paying for her own care shouldn't hurt too much, but it still leaves her a bit concerned and vowing to look into her insurance options. 

They take some blood work and do another ultrasound at this appointment, not having access to the previous one and wanting to confirm again that everything seems to be in order. Emily uses her cell phone to record a grainy video of the ultrasound, the heartbeat of her tiny child filling the room as their figure moves across the screen. She fires off a copy to JJ, and then on second thought, a copy to Will. 

JJ calls her two minutes later, crying, and then Emily is crying too, in the empty office waiting for her doctor to come back in. Emily hangs up as Dr. Novak walks back in, all smiles. “Everything is looking good so far, Emily!” she says. “We'll schedule you back for another visit in a month so you can have your triple screen and we can talk about any further testing at that time, but right now everything's in order. Just keep taking your prenatal vitamins and taking care of yourself.” 

The hope grows, wraps itself around some of the doubt in her mind, starts to suffocate it.


	7. Chapter 7

The job doesn't start until the first week of September, so Emily has a couple of weeks to kill. 

She decides to dedicate one day to picking out a new car to buy and getting rid of her rental car, realizing that there's no point in putting off the purchase when she's going to need a car no matter what. The next she signs up for a prenatal yoga class, and finds herself standing in whole foods armed with a list of healthy foods of dubious taste to buy, stocking her fridge and her pantry. 

She researches pregnancy, buys a few books, looks into local classes. When an online comment tips her off to the fact that a good daycare can mean a very long waiting list, she starts to research nearby options and quickly decides that she's probably better off hiring a nanny. Still, she thinks, it wouldn't hurt to check a few out. 

One night, she has dinner at JJ and Will's home, Henry running around in the background and occasionally tugging on her shirtsleeves for attention. Emily marvels that he's getting so big, already nearly five years old. Twice on the weekend, the four of them go out to the park with a takeaway lunch and let Henry run wild. After they've eaten on their second visit, Emily watches Will and JJ play with Henry. She thinks back to the joke she'd made while JJ was still pregnant, about how JJ had snagged the last viable donor. 

Emily wonders if perhaps JJ caught her in that line of thought, because the next time they're alone on skype, JJ's line of questioning immediately goes to her (lack of) love life. 

“Have you had any contact with the father?” JJ asks from her hotel room. 

Emily shakes her head. “I don't think he's going to be coming around, Jayje. I made it clear to him that I'm not going to push him into doing something he doesn't want to do, and he made it clear to me he doesn't want anything to do with a baby.”

JJ sighs. “Which leaves you shouldering the burden.” 

“It isn't a burden,” Emily says with a shrug. “I want my child to have a good father, but I can't make it happen.” 

“He's not the only man in the world, you know,” JJ replies. “That can still happen.” 

Emily smiles. “Yeah, maybe I'll find what you and Will have one day.” 

After they end their call, JJ sits up on her creaky hotel bed, not really watching the news broadcast about their case playing across the screen. JJ thinks about Emily, facing down a pregnancy and a child alone. Emily is strong, capable, and will get through. 

But JJ also thinks about Will, who is at home with Henry. Her wonderful husband who has been a loving father to her child since before Henry was even born, who now takes care of him so that she can continue to live the life she wants to live. She thinks of the fact that he's always wanted more children, that she's watched him let the idea go as he's tried so desperately not to fault her for it. 

She thinks that they are all becoming better friends, thinks of the way Will is around Emily, of the longing with which Emily looks at Will. An idea that she isn't entirely sure isn't insane starts to form in her head.


	8. Chapter 8

Emily's new job starts off uneventfully, and she suspects that uneventful is what it's going to continue to be. Her new coworkers are nice enough, and the work is certainly intellectually stimulating, but it's going to take her a while to adapt to the idea of no longer trying to save the world. 

She takes up jogging in the mornings before work every morning to let off some steam before spending her day at a desk, waking up every morning at 5:30 and drowning out the world with her music, her breathing, and the way her heart beats in her ears. She spends some evenings in, researching pregnancy and babies, skyping with JJ (and sometimes Will) when their schedules allow. 

That Friday her coworkers invite her out for drinks after work, and the news of her pregnancy is quickly broken to them too as she sips on a coke throughout the night. She can see some of them glance at her hand, searching for a ring, and is thankful they have the tact not to ask questions she obviously doesn't want to answer. They ask her how far along she is instead, if she knows the sex yet, how she's doing. It's nice to finally start to feel like she belongs at work again, a feeling she'd sorely been missing during her short stint at Interpol. 

During the brief downtime the case offers, JJ spends the rest of the workweek thinking about her conversation with Emily, about the feeling in her chest that she has when she knows she's called to do something. Only she's not entirely sure what that is. She has a wonderful husband, a hectic job that takes her away for days (and sometimes weeks) at a time, and a best friend that she loves dearly. She has her own beautiful son, and if she's honest with herself, she has a growing attachment to the child that will soon be Emily's child. She's known Emily and Will for about the same length of time, and loves them both dearly in different ways. 

Eventually, she comes to the conclusion that while it's partially her decision, she can't make anything happen without the input of the other parties involved, and that the first step is talking to her husband. That Saturday night, after putting Henry to bed, she and Will curl up together on the couch to have a talk. Will asks her what's troubling her, having sensed for days that something was wrong. 

It's the kind of conversation she'd never imagined having, so she's not entirely sure where to start. “We've been spending more time with Emily since the move,” she starts with. “I've been enjoying that time together.” 

“Hmm?” he asks, wondering where she's going with this. 

“I've been noticing some things. About the way you two treat one another, the way you two look at one another,” JJ says. Sensing that he's going to try to defend himself, she quickly continues. “I'm not accusing you of anything. You don't even see all of it, the way that she watches you when you're with Henry. Like she's imagining for a minute that it could be hers, and that you could be hers. I know that neither of you would do anything to hurt me, but this has been bothering me.”

“What're you saying?” Will asks, voice clearly puzzled. 

“You care about her. She cares about you. I love you both and nothing is going to change that. I think we should seriously consider that the man she's been looking for is right here,” JJ answers. “If that's something that you want to pursue, I will support you.” 

Will thinks about this for a silent minute, processing all the thoughts running through his head. “Have you talked to her about this?”

JJ shakes her head. “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first.” 

“I'll admit that I'm fond of Emily, and that you're probably right about the way she feels about me, but why does that give me a free pass to break the vows I made to you? Why would you want that?” Will asks. 

“You wouldn't be breaking any vows,” JJ says. “Not in my eyes, not as long as you never stop being my husband. You want her. You want another child and will be a fantastic parent again if you're given the chance. She wants you. If it's what you both end up wanting when the offer is on the table, you can love her too.” 

Will sighs, pulls JJ closer. “We'll think about it.”

Think Will does. He thinks about if Emily truly would reciprocate his feelings, if she'd be at all interested in an unconventional relationship like this, if it'd be the right thing to do by her. Will thinks about if it would truly be fair to Jennifer, if she wouldn't one day resent him for falling in love again. He thinks about Henry, wonders how they could possibly explain something like this to their son if it came to that. 

They get together that next Saturday to discuss it again after putting Henry to bed. They sit at the kitchen table, enjoying the first bit of time they've had to themselves all week. 

“Are you still sure?” Will asks her, already knowing the answer. 

“Of course I am,” JJ says with a nod. “I wouldn't have asked you if this wasn't something I wanted.” 

“The part that troubled me,” Will starts. “Was those vows that I made to you. I thought about what they mean and who I made them to. I stopped and I thought, is it okay to be breaking them in this situation? I spent a lot of time wondering if this was something we should do or not, and then I spent more wondering if this is something we are compelled to do. I do.” 

“So where do you want to go from here?” JJ asks. 

“We have to tell her.”


	9. Chapter 9

They decide not to delay the inevitable, so the next morning, JJ calls Emily and asks her if they can come over after finding a sitter for Henry. Emily sounds a bit puzzled at this, but tells JJ that she'll be free all evening and they can come whenever they'd like to. 

An hour before they leave at 5:30, JJ frets around the bathroom trying on different outfits, fiddling with her hair, and occasionally giving herself a stare in the mirror. “There's no going back after this,” she thinks. Either they're going to be making a great decision or a terrible one, but either way, it's all going to be out there for Emily to decide. 

They end up walking to a place nearby Emily's apartment for dinner, and then heading back to her apartment for coffee, dessert, and their long-awaited conversation. If Emily senses that they're nervous (and she probably does), she doesn't breathe a word of it to them while they're out. She is enthusiastic and friendly the whole evening as they catch up. 

Once they're settled in with their desserts however, Emily's face changes, searching their own for answers. “What is it you're not telling me?” she asks, directing the question to neither of them in particular. 

Will looks at JJ, who nods. “I'll start,” she says. “Will and I have been doing some thinking for a while and there's something we want to talk to you about. If you're not comfortable, you can tell us no and that will be the end of it.”

Emily nods, curious. “Okay, well are you going to tell me?” she asks. 

JJ slowly inhales before speaking. “We've known you for a long time, Emily. You know that we both care very much about you, right?” JJ asks, not really stopping for an answer, though Emily nods anyways. “This whole situation, your return, has drawn us all closer together. It wasn't difficult for me to realize your feelings towards Will were growing, and that he reciprocated them. It doesn't bother me, Emily, not like some people might say it should. Will and I have discussed it, and if you feel the same way that we do, we are open to you and Will pursuing a relationship.” 

JJ can't read the look on Emily's face when she replies. “What do you get out of this?” 

JJ laughs. “Will asked the same thing. It would make the two of you happy. That would make me happy. You're already in my life, Emily, and if you're on the same page then both of us would like to take steps to see if we can work out as a family.” 

Emily nods, then turns to look at Will. “How about you?” 

“If you said yes, you'd be offering me more love in my life,” Will says. “I can imagine our life together, and that it would bring all of us happiness.” 

“How far are you both willing to go? What do we call this?” Emily asks. 

“You and Will can date,” JJ answers. “If the time comes, we are both open to the idea of you and your child being our family, and we're both open to the idea of Will marrying again.” 

Emily lets it sink in then, what they're proposing. It sounds less like dating and more like courtship. “We'd have to be very careful about this,” Emily answers slowly. “What you're talking about doing, with who we are and what our careers are, that's going to mean keeping secrets from everyone but those we could absolutely trust.” 

Will nods. “We understand that this choice will involve some sacrifices. Our hearts are telling us that this is the right thing to do. We are compelled to do this. We're willing to sacrifice for you, Emily, because we think we'll be gaining so much more than those things.” 

“I appreciate how difficult it must have been for the two of you to come to this decision and to tell me,” Emily says. “I have to admit, while this is a surprise, it isn't an unwelcome one. You're right, JJ, that the feelings are shared. I'm willing to try.”

It's a start. It's their start.


	10. Chapter 10

Will and Emily agree to try to meet during the workweek to try and preserve the limited time JJ gets at home, although they all agree on Emily visiting all three of them (Henry included) at least once on the weekends or when their schedules permit. 

Emily takes off work early on Tuesday evening to attend an OB appointment before her prenatal yoga class. It's a smooth visit. Dr. Novak tells her that her triple screen was fine, and that while she can choose to undergo an amnio to be safe, there's no strong indication for it when weighed against the small risk of miscarriage. Emily agrees that it isn't an option she wants to pursue, so they schedule her in for her next ultrasound in a month. Dr. Novak also advises her that this is the point in the pregnancy where she should be looking into researching making a plan for the birth, registering for classes to prepare, and getting her home ready. 

With a start, Emily realizes there's only 25 weeks left until she's due. She thinks of those plans, of the birth and a house to come home to, imagines Will in it. It feels ridiculous, too soon. She spends the yoga class thinking about this, not really able to clear her mind. She's known both of them for years, was there before Henry was even born. It's not difficult at all to imagine. 

On Wednesday night, after a day at work that Emily's convinced drew on entirely too long, she and Will meet for their first official date. They meet up at the restaurant Will had chosen (after consulting with JJ, who had pretty much told him where to go.) Before they head in, Emily catches Will staring at the tiny bump that has developed underneath her dress seemingly overnight. 

She smiles her brilliant smile at him, tells him that it's okay to touch. He gently cradles her abdomen with both his hands, face lighting up. She notices he's not wearing his ring. Seeing her gaze, Will nods at her unasked question. “We thought it would be easier if I wore it around my neck for now. No unwelcomed questions from strangers or the impression of impropriety.” 

Emily laughs as they walk in. “We wouldn't want to be improper, would we?” 

After they get seated and really get into their conversation, it's so easy. This isn't a complete stranger; it's her best friend's husband, her own friend. Emily had come to the date expecting conflicting emotions, wondering if she'd feel guilty when they chatted about JJ, if things would be irreparably awkward once they acknowledged that he is a man with a wife. Emily isn't deluding herself, she knows that guilt and jealousy will occur one day, but the rest of it is just painfully easy. Good. 

She's happier around Will than she's been in a long time. The respect he treats her with puts her finally at ease, able to let her guard down, to trust him. He is kind, gentle, everything which she'd never truly imagined for herself. 

Will thinks of his call to JJ earlier that evening. She'd wished him luck, told him not to be too nervous, told him that she loves him and knew he loves her and that no amount of love he felt for another woman would ever lessen that. “Try to make peace with it,” she'd said. 

Peace, Will thinks, as he touches her tiny little baby bump and imagines that the child inside could one day be his. 

They leave on a good note, having both enjoyed the night greatly. Will walks her back to her car again, stops her in front of the door, gently kisses her cheek. Emily almost can't stop smiling as she drives home. 

If they're going about making a family the wrong way, it doesn't yet feel wrong.


End file.
